The choice of who to marry and the
choice to stay married are two of the most important decisions any
woman, or man for that matter, can make. Venker points out that
making a marriage work takes a fulltime commitment from both husband
and wife. Feminism has told women they can have it all. Men are the
problem that they keep women from fulfilling lives. This is simply
not true. The mature person recognizes that life is a series of
tradeoffs. If you want something you have to work for it. Nothing
comes magically.
Venker discusses the biological
evidence that men and women are not identical and interchangeable.
Their physical and chemical properties are different. Women want to
have children and care for them. Men want to be fathers. They want
to protect the women and children. This is actually a very workable
arrangement. Role reversal typically doesn't work.
I recommend reading this book with your
eyes wide open. Venter is not engaged in bashing feminism. However,
she does point out the limitations of extreme expressions of feminism
in getting and staying married. Marriage requires commitment. It's
not something that should be entered into lightly with the idea that
if I don't like it there's always divorce. She points out that
commitment is lacking I our society, and it is straining the marriage
relationship to the breaking point.
I encourage anyone who is thinking
about getting married, or who is married already and wondering if it
will work out, to read this book. At the worst it will make you
think. At the best, it may give you a better marriage.
I reviewed this book for PR by the
Book.
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