Monday, February 4, 2013

Excellent Advice if You Want To Get and Stay Married: How to Choose a Husband by Suzanne Venker

The choice of who to marry and the choice to stay married are two of the most important decisions any woman, or man for that matter, can make. Venker points out that making a marriage work takes a fulltime commitment from both husband and wife. Feminism has told women they can have it all. Men are the problem that they keep women from fulfilling lives. This is simply not true. The mature person recognizes that life is a series of tradeoffs. If you want something you have to work for it. Nothing comes magically.

Venker discusses the biological evidence that men and women are not identical and interchangeable. Their physical and chemical properties are different. Women want to have children and care for them. Men want to be fathers. They want to protect the women and children. This is actually a very workable arrangement. Role reversal typically doesn't work.

I recommend reading this book with your eyes wide open. Venter is not engaged in bashing feminism. However, she does point out the limitations of extreme expressions of feminism in getting and staying married. Marriage requires commitment. It's not something that should be entered into lightly with the idea that if I don't like it there's always divorce. She points out that commitment is lacking I our society, and it is straining the marriage relationship to the breaking point.

I encourage anyone who is thinking about getting married, or who is married already and wondering if it will work out, to read this book. At the worst it will make you think. At the best, it may give you a better marriage.

I reviewed this book for PR by the Book.