Unexpectedly Becoming a Caregiver

CJ and Joe had a life they loved. Above all Joe enjoyed cycling. He even rode coast to coast with a group. Suddenly, Joe was ill. Blood tests confirmed that he had a rare form of leukemia, and he suffered two strokes. CJ was thrust into the role of primary caregiver.

Many people have experience with being caregivers for small children, but adults are more difficult. They’re used to running their lives and doing what they want. When one partner is stricken with a serious illness the brunt of the care falls on the other partner and strains the relationship.

CJ tells her story well. I liked the picture of their marriage before Joe’s illness. It made it clear how much they loved each other and how difficult it was to adapt to a serious illness. In the beginning, she made the mistake many caregivers do: trying to be there 24/7. It’s a quick way to burn out. She also learned how to interface with the medical personnel. It’s very important when you’re ill to have someone to interface for you and understand what is happening.

One of the delightful parts of the book is CJ’s inclusion of emails she sent to family and friends. It’s an immediate picture of the ups and downs of adjusting to new limitations. Too often we feel that we must keep a stiff upper lip. CJ admits she lost it occasionally, but didn’t let it lead to feeling of inadequacy. She got up and tried again.

The main message of this book is that caregivers must take care of themselves, too. You can’t give one-hundred percent all the time. It is important to take time for yourself. I recommend this book for anyone with aging parents or faced with the illness of a spouse. It will give tips for how to manage being a caregiver, but also remind you that you don’t have to be perfect.

I received this book from PR by the Book for this review.